I’m about to share something I’ve never said before in public.
It’s about my kids,
now my reason for existing,
who for me are the answer “what is the meaning of life”.
People frequently tell me “that’s so great you gave those kids a home, you’re such good people.” They think because I adopted my kids that I’m an awesome guy.
It’s a lie.
The truth is I’m very selfish.
When I learned I was infertile I felt robbed. I’d waited “until the time was right” to try for kids and it wasn’t working. I’d experienced everything I wanted in life, the only thing to cross off the list was to try being a parent.
I had become accustomed to getting what I wanted to I was very angry to learn it wasn’t possible.
Then Marcy explored our options(I’m so blessed because a lesser woman would have split rather than give up having bio children) and we were on the path to adoption.
Now I have what I wanted, a growing family. Totally self-serving.
So you see, I am selfish. I’m not “good people” – Marcy is. She chose to forgo her DNA to build her family – but I’m just selfish.
“Those kids are so lucky to have you.”
I’m lucky one – my wife loves me enough to make a big sacrifice – and my kids love me to bits. For that, I’m so grateful.
The reason I had to tell you this is I want you to meet another family – they are actual “good people.”
And they need our help.
I met Dave and Robyn at my first post as an RCMP Officer. After 3 boys, they are still intent on growing their family and have met a sweet little girl from China, Isla.
In Robyn’s words:
We have been trying to adopt for two years and were just starting to look at domestic adoption too. We really just wanted to bring in a child to our home who needed a home, and we’ve wanted four kids forever. Out of the blue on facebook I see a post that frustrated me about adopting from China (looong story) and decided to follow up on a little boy who had been up for adoption for months and no one was adopting him. When I was asking about him, I came across two little girls too.
One of the girls had a “congenital nevi”. We inquired about this beautiful girl. She has a “Giant Nevus” on her back, which mean a giant black mole which literally takes up her whole back. She also has smaller moles elsewhere on her body. The American agency that had her listed was having trouble placing her because of this “special need”. They asked if David and I were interested. Were we ever! We waited through thanksgiving for over two weeks. Finally they said, their clients still didn’t want to adopt our little beauty, so they would transfer her file to our Canadian agency. It took two long weeks for the file transfer to go through, but when it did we were beside ourselves happy!! We had begun researching her condition (back around thanksgiving) and consulted several doctors. We were even in touch with “the” doctor to help care for our little girl. What a blessing indeed.! Wait list? I inquired, “don’t worry, just email me and I’ll get you in” said the angel of a doctor’s assistant. I cried with the blessing that this would mean for our girl.
Robyn and Dave have already named their little girl Isla and can’t wait to bring her home, but Isla doesn’t have the good fortune my kids had to be born in Canada. MCFD, government funding and programs allowed us to adopt our kids without incurring any unusual expenses.
Not so for Isla, the fees to bring her home are $32,000! No small sum for people like you and me…
Dave, Robyn and their three boys are having a VERY light Christmas, taking out loans, and otherwise sacrificing A LOT to make this happen.
When I talked to Robyn about their adoption journey this nearly broke my heart:
Now, where I struggle: I feel humiliated. I am a private person and so is my husband. I am sharing GoFund Me posts that my dear friend created […] for the adoption of our beautiful girl. I’m embarrassed and really vulnerable. David and I both have good jobs. Why should we be asking for help to fund part our adoption? It will take ten years to pay off the loan to bring her home and make things very tough financially.
We are not “purchasing” anything. We are not “purchasing “a child. We are paying for mandatory fees that are all very well priced, I’d say, to help keep adoption going in the various areas. These fees help pay for the children of China to live in their orphanages.
The whole purpose to this fundraising was to say that if you want to help pay for the fees to remove a child from an orphanage, this is how. Please do not believe that I am wanting to apply this money anywhere else. This is all to help bring Isla home. We all struggle really, but it’s [for me] hard to say “here’s where you can donate…it’s to me”. [The] reality is we live in a world with 155 million orphans. [By giving], you are actually donating to our daughter who is currently living in an orphanage. We are bringing her home to Canada to live as a Canadian citizen and to love her as our other children in our home.
As you can see this is a family who are separated and aching to be united.
Many of you reading this have been touched by adoption and understand what this is like. I know the wait for our children was excruciating, even without the financial barriers.
The fact is if everyone reading this donated just $10, this fundraising campaign would be over. That is why, until Christmas 2015, I am issuing a personal challenge to each of you.
Find a way to help Dave and Robyn. Every dollar counts.
In fact, to say thank you for helping my friends, I’ve put together a special reward package.
I have a standing offer until Dec 25. Anyone who donates any amount will get a copy of “Your Life. Your Terms.” mailed to them(just send your address to firstname.lastname@example.org). It’s over $50 on Amazon and the perfect gift for the entrepreneur in your life.
I’ll be updating my offer as we get closer to Christmas, so please join us. Let’s give a gift that truly counts this year.
Until next time,
*To maximize your donation, you can do a couple things:
- Opt for an electronic copy of my book and I will donate the hard costs of printing and mailing.
- Make a donation directly to Dave and Robyn by emailing them the money. It will cost $1.50 instead of ~9% at GoFundMe. Fivebuckys@shaw.ca to make a private donation and make your dollars stretch the furthest.